Date Night
by Inks Inc
Summary: Tony's in trouble, again, but this time he has a rare request to make of his thoroughly fed up boss. His is a case without precedent, but everyone knows Gibbs is nothing if not a creature of habit. Will he be willing to make an exception for his protesting protégée? WARNING: Discussion of Spanking. Three Chapters. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Gibbs sighed in an increasing bout of frustration. Pointing to the conference room table for what felt like the millionth time, he felt his frown lines deepen into sheer trenches of exasperation. "Tony. Stop giving me a hard time, stop looking at me like that and just get your ass over this table so we can get out of here. I'm not going to ask again, so would ya just move it already?"

Far from moving it, already or at any other pace for that matter, Tony stood firmer to the spot.

"Please, Boss," he blurted out, with a reeking trail of desperation in his words, "Anything but that. I'm sorry I sent McGee to that brothel on his own and pretended it was the crime scene, ok? It was funny at the time, but it was wrong. I get it. I'll ride a desk, I'll do cold cases, I'll do whatever the hell you want…just, please, anything but that." His eyes were wide with pleading misery as Gibbs felt his confusion skyrocket. Glancing down at the belt in his hands, he felt the confusion continue to increase.

"Tony," he murmured, in a much gentler voice, "What's going on? I've used this with you more times than I can count. Why are you freaking out?" He closed his mouth slowly as his protégée sighed deeply, and felt anxiety stir within him. He was always meticulously careful in not drawing out old demons in his second in command, but he genuinely _had_ used the belt with him more times than he cared to remember. And he'd never reacted like this. Sure he wheedled, protested, bargained and charmed but he never came right out and asked for anything else, or spoke with such desperation.

He quickly threaded his belt back through the loops before stepping closer to his muted field agent.

"Tony…what's going on? C'mon, spit it out. What's the matter, what's changed?" Gibbs took in a deep breath and cut right to the chase. "Is it something to do with your…is it something to do with remembering your childhood?" He felt his heart quicken and his stomach sink as Tony looked down at the floor, his breathing quickened and as a red flush crossed the young man's face.

"It's not that," the younger man eventually blurted out, looking up with a still reddening face, "It's nothing like that." Eying his second in command carefully, Gibbs saw nothing but the truth in his words. Feeling the anxiety slip away somewhat, he threw his eyes up to heaven. "Then what is it?" he demanded quietly, "And so help me if you try and tell me that McGee deserved it again. I'm warning you." Glancing down at the belt that was once again fastened around his boss' waist, Tony closed his eyes briefly. There was embarrassment, and then…then there was _this._

Unfortunately for him, Gibbs' patience was rapidly returning to thinner ground.

"If you don't spit it out in the next five seconds, I guarantee you that you won't look at a chair the same way ever again. We're working a case, and I've spent the last twenty minutes in here arguing with you about a well deserved tanning. I've had about as much as I'm willing to take, so unless you give me a damned valid reason to the contrary, you can get your ass over that table in the next five seconds so we can get back to work."

Tony gulped.

The boss man didn't make idle threats.

"It'll…it usually…I mean obviously it would, that's basic anatomy…but…it's just…"

Gibbs closed his eyes in despair and focussed all his will power in not wrapping his hands around the kid's neck and throttling the life out of him. "Could you go ahead and put that into a full sentence for me? Sometime in the next millennium should be fine, no pressure."

Tony winced.

Sarcasm was never a good sign.

"It's just," he muttered, trying valiantly to just bite the bullet, "Well, do you remember I was telling you about Laura?" He waited with a still reddened face and Gibbs considered his question in surprise, before nodding his head. Laura was Tony's latest on again off again girlfriend. She was different, he was told, from all the others. He was also aware that she must be different in some degree, because she refused to have any meaningful intimacy with Tony until she was sure he was relationship material.

"I do," Gibbs answered slowly, "What does she have to do with you sending Tim to a brothel to be mauled by those cougars, or you standing there for the last near half hour arguing with me about a hiding that every dog on the street knows you deserve?"

Tony swallowed slowly.

"Well…uhm, you know how I was telling you she was really busy with work, and how she's uhm… reserved in the whole…well, you know…bedroom department…." Gibbs had to bite back a smile at how embarrassed Tony was in trying to repeat the embargo Laura had placed on him. He may be all Casanova bluster in front of the others, but that was just a front. He could tell that the kid cared for this girl, which is why he didn't press the issue and allowed Tony to cut the explanation short with a quick nod from him.

Breathing slightly easier in relied, Tony sucked in some more air. There was no easy way to say it, so he just needed to come and say it. He couldn't help the slightly pleading and yet indignant tone that his words came out in, and nor could he help the desperation he knew was bulging in his eyes. He had waited so long, and Laura…man, she was beautiful. Long dark, shimmering hair, high cheek bones, hazel eyes…a rocking body. Not to mention she was smart, funny, and could make him laugh after the hardest of cases. And she didn't run a mile when he told her what he did for a living.

"And?" Gibbs prompted impatiently, when it seemed Tony was lost in his thought, "What does she have to do with anything in this room?" Tony bit his lip, before he bit the bullet, speech bursting out of him with imploring eyes, and beseeching tones.

"And tonight's the night, Gibbs, tonight's the night….you know, and I can't…well, you know…"

He ran a hand through his sandy brown mop of hair in frustration at his boss' obvious confusion.

"You know…where she's finally going to let me-"

"Yes, I get the picture," Gibbs interrupted tersely with a slight tinge of utter bewilderment, "But, I'll ask you again, and for the last time, what does _that_ have to do with _this?"_ Tony stared, mouth agape in incredulity. Was Gibbs being deliberately dense just to mess with him? The old man might as well have asked him was the sky blue or was water wet?

"Boss… how the hell am I meant to explain having an ass like a freaking baboon?"

…

A/N: Just random silliness that popped into my head on an unexpectedly long commute. Two-Shot. In Loco Parentis is up next for an update for those following that.

…..


	2. Chapter 2

The room fell deathly silent for a moment. Digesting what he had just heard, Gibbs felt his gut clench with carefully suppressed laughter. Keeping his face as stern as ever, with an Oscar winning effort, he howled with fond amusement internally. Not trusting himself to speak for a moment, he merely stared steadily, feeling a small droplet of blood enter his mouth such was the force he maintained on his lip. He'd heard some excuses of various degrees of hilarity from Tony over the years, but this one definitely topped the list. Looking at the desperation in the kid's eyes, he decided on his course of action without hesitation.

But he sure as all hell wasn't going to make it easy for his protégée.

"Let me get this straight," he drawled, "You would like _me_ to adjust _your_ punishment to suit your very demanding social life? Is that what you're actually telling me right now?" He held up a hand as Tony opened his mouth nervously. "No really, is that what you're asking me? Because that _is_ how this works you know, you ask and I deliver. I know that technically it would appear that I'm the boss and you're the second in command, but hey, romance is romance right?" He scratched his head in faux thoughtfulness. "Now that I come to think of it, I could get you guys a dinner reservation at that new uppity restaurant everyone's raving about. I know the new owner."

When Tony opened his mouth in intense horror, he held up another hand. "No no, I got a better idea. How about you just take the week off? Yeah that sounds good, doesn't it? You take the week off; take your girlfriend to the countryside. Maybe even take a little trip out on the lakes. Wouldn't that be nice?" he deadpanned, "Don't you think she'd just love it? Hell, take two weeks. What's unscheduled leave in the face of true love, right?"

Tony was rapidly wishing he'd just kept his mouth shut.

Surgically shut.

"No, Boss," he blurted out uncomfortably, "I know-"

"You know what?" Gibbs interjected casually, "Why don't you just bring her over to the house for dinner tonight? I'd just love to meet this girl, seeing as she's so special and all. We could invite Tim and the girls, Ducky and Palmer as well of course. Make a night of it. Then the two of you could head off tomorrow morning and just have an absolute _whale_ of a time. You deserve a little break. Yeah…I think that's what we'll do." Nodding thoughtfully, he gestured loosely towards the door. "Well, I guess we're done here then aren't we? All the important details are ironed out, right? Yup…I think that's that."

He snapped his fingers loudly, causing a gaping Tony to jump uncontrollably, as if struck by a sudden thought and turned back his wide eyed protégée.

"Hell, I nearly forgot to ask you the _most_ important question." He shook his head as if bemused by his own stupidity and tipped his head to the side in pretend fascination, placing his hands dramatically on his hips with a put upon a sigh.

"What on earth should I _wear?"_

…

A/N: I know I said two-shot, but it never works out that way! I just wanted to do a fic that shows off Gibbs' sense of humour, because he really does have one! (Particularly in the episode where they all had to use redundant technology because of an outage!) One more chapter and then this is done!


	3. Chapter 3

Tony opened and closed his mouth wordlessly like a fish suffering extreme heatstroke. His eyes were wide with horror as he shuffled helplessly on the spot. "Boss," he eventually spluttered, trying to maintain a voice of reason, "That's uhh…really very kind of you, and uhm I'm sure Laura would…love you and all. But…it's just, well it's just…" he trailed off helplessly, his stomach churning. How in the hell he had gotten into _this_ mess, he couldn't fathom. He should have just kept his mouth shut and plastered his butt with burn cream and hoped for the best.

He chewed his lip as a sudden and irritating thought struck him.

He was a federal agent of the law. He could have made up any number of daring and exciting reasons why he had a red butt. He had fallen on a smouldering pile of ashes to save a child from imminent death. He had skidded on his poor posterior as he bravely leapt in to prevent the escape of a perp. But oh _no…_ he had just gone and asked _Gibbs_ would it be ok to call a rain check so he could get his freak on. A dull flush coloured his face as he envisaged the dinner table at his boss' place, and any final hopes he had of finally getting to show Laura what she was missing dwindled away. Looking down morosely, he shrugged his shoulders in defeat.

"Should I bring wine or bourbon?"

There was a stark silence for a moment, as he writhed in his own damned misery.

Before jerking his head up in shock.

The sounds of Gibbs' roaring laughter had his mouth dropping open once more. As too did the elder man's need of the support of the conference room table as he leant against it, howling in mirth. Beginning to feel positively alarmed at what he could only deduce was some kind of deadly seizure, Tony snapped into action. "Boss," he all but squawked, "what the…are you ok?" When the agent didn't answer, but merely shook all the harder with laughter, Tony was sure he was on death's door. He was going to die right in front of him, and the whole agency would think _he_ had killed him. Shaking his head wildly, he leapt forward and after one second of hesitation, reached out to feel Gibbs' forehead for what he was sure was the mind melting fever his boss was suffering.

Slapping his hand away gently, still chuckling, Gibbs sought to control himself. Taking in a deep breath, he straightened up and took in his stunned looking protégée with another giggle. Tony's eyes bulged. The man was spluttering away like a drunken high schooler. Looking desperately at the conference room door, he felt as though it was enclosing him in an alternate reality. And he really wanted to get back to the normal one. Looking at his boss nervously, who was wiping a tear of mirth from his eyes, he confirmed his suspicions.

The whole world had gone to hell.

"Aw hell, listen up DiNozzo," Gibbs eventually laughed, "I might be a bastard, but even I wouldn't do that to you. But…I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see you squirm, given your _request._ You understand, don't you?" Judging by the rapidly narrowing eyes and the expression of comprehension splashing across Tony's face, he _did_ understand. And he was suitably unimpressed. "You son of a-" Gibbs held up a silencing hand, still belching out the odd chuckle. "Now now, you don't want that mouth of yours to get you into any more trouble, do ya?"

Tony's shoulders slumped, as he looked dejectedly towards the table.

"Can we just get it over with then?" he sighed, "Now that you've had your fun and all."

Nodding slowly, Gibbs smiled internally.

"Sure." Reaching for his belt once more, he jerked his head towards the shiny mahogany.

He bit his lip as Tony nodded miserably, and offered a small sigh of hopelessness. He saw the green eyes die a little when he fully slipped off his belt once more, and doubled it in his hands. "Go on," he instructed calmly, "You know the drill." He appeared resolutely unaffected as Tony gave him one last desperate look, before slowly turning to the table and draping himself over it. Closing the gap between them in two strides, Gibbs placed the usual warm hand on the small of Tony's back and cleared his throat, readopting his firm tones with an ease that came with decades of experience.

"Do you still think it's acceptable to send your teammate to a brothel instead of a crime scene then?"

With his head buried in his arms, Tony managed to shake it with the requisite regret.

"No boss."

Gibbs nodded, to himself mostly.

"And do you still think it's acceptable to waste man power like that, when we have an active case?"

Tony once again managed to jerk his tousled head in remorse.

"No boss."

Chewing his lip thoughtfully, Gibbs pondered for a moment.

"And you realise why this has to happen? You realise that no matter what, you deserve this?"

The nod that came at the third question was slower and seemed to shriek with burning regret.

"…yes Boss."

"Good," Gibbs muttered, "Because I also want you over at the house next Saturday. You're going to spend the whole day doing the most boring and tedious jobs I can find for you, and you're going to do it with a smile. Maybe that will teach you a lesson about the pitfalls of time wasting. Is that clear?"

The back under his hand stiffened in outrage, as he knew it would.

"But Boss," Tony moaned into his arms, "that's not-"

The very light tapping of the belt against his butt silence him. "What was that, Tony?"

The back under his hand deflated in misery, as he knew it would.

"Yes boss," the younger man groaned in defeat, knowing resistance was futile.

"Good," Gibbs repeated, "Now, you finally ready to accept your punishment for this?"

Tony merely nodded with a sadness that would pierce the heart of a statue.

Silence ensued for a moment, as he braced himself for the first lick, which was always the worst. Images of Laura in the satin blue dress she had hinted at swam in his mind's eye, as regret and misery bubbled in his gut. He was so close, he had waited so long, and now…it was to be taken from him. Biting his lip as he waited, he winced when he eventually heard the firm crack that always seemed louder in the still silence of the doomed conference room.

He blinked.

The pain wasn't in his butt, it was in his head.

Leaning down and gently ruffling the hair around the spot where he had delivered a firm head slap, Gibbs' smile was evident in his fond tone, even if his confused second in command couldn't see it.

"Have fun tonight son, but remember to treat her right."

Before Tony could even blink once more, another sound filtered throughout the room.

The sound of the door snapping softly shut.

….

A/N: 45 min's of unexpected and maddening commute delay = this, as a distraction. Hope you enjoyed! Writing a light hearted Gibbs is pretty fun!

_Inks.

….


End file.
